wave

A Tidal Wave

Twenty one years together… is quite an eternity to spend side by side. Alice has always thought of her marriage as a calm, balanced and mature safety lagoon. Regardless of waves of emotions that played on the surface or amount of fish in the sea, this was the foundation. Her rock. The Husband – loving, kind-hearted, flexible and open to her ideas and needs. The Family – growing together, exploring life one step at a time.

In her mind, they had a great marriage, open communication channel, deep connection and a spicy sex life… Of course our memories are curious creatures. They tend to capture things from a specific perspective, telling subjective stories, erasing painful memories or, as in his case, highlighting and enhancing them. Apparently his angle was a different one.

A tidal wave has hit the lagoon: the husband met a new Metamour. Blue-eyed, blonde, statuesque, smart single woman who saw him with completely different set of eyes. Praising him, strongly desiring him, intently focusing on him alone.

“I wish I’d met you all these years ago, instead of Alice”, said Husband to his new partner two weeks after meeting her. “Perhaps, I should’ve divorced her as soon as we’ve opened our marriage. I can’t stop thinking about you …”

Alice has never expected such an 180 degree turn.  Betrayal came as a strong undercurrent and raised lots of dust, stones and debris into the swirling waters trembling with shock and despair. Enthralled with waves, there came a realization that deep down inside, he has been harbouring resentment and hurt for years…

“He has always craved exclusivity”, Alice thought to herself. “I could never give him my undivided attention because I kept falling in love with others…” Her heart has sunk. Guilt and self hate crept in. Fear of abandonment has raised it’s screeching voice.

Loss of control and trust were overbearing. She felt just like a huge tidal wave had covered her from head to toe, crushed the illusions around her marriage, started affecting her kids and the overall foundation that seemed indestructible just a couple of weeks ago.

The worst was that she couldn’t get through to him. The loving, caring and kind husband she knew so well, has been replaced by an in-love teenager with raging hormones and no consideration for any of the previously discussed boundaries. Huge emotional waves. Lust. Butterflies. Longing to be with his Metamour no matter what. Crushing anything standing on his way to happiness and newly found love.

“I need you to calm down, find your head again and respect the boundaries we’ve agreed upon,” she pleaded “We cannot function with a constant hurricane swiping through our house. Do you want to leave the family?”

“I’m very lost” he finally said. “I simply don’t know what I want. I’m very conflicted inside.” The teenager and the calm loving adult just simply could not agree.

“I need to speak to her,” said Alice convinced she needed to take drastic measures. “Surely, she wouldn’t want to break apart this marriage”…

“Hey there,” his Metamour’s kind calming voice sounded dependable and trustworthy. “I agree he needs to calm down. I’m not here to break up your marriage. I just simply want to enjoy a passionate friendship with your husband – I have a lot to learn from him and we have a great connection. I will make sure to adhere to any boundaries you have in place. I have a great respect for you and your family.”

Speaking to her, Alice could feel a sense of calmness rising from the bottom of the ocean. Transparency setting in, debris and little stones floating down and settling onto the ocean floor. She felt a strong intention for everyone to function in harmony and align in love.

The longer they spoke, the more grounded and supported Alice felt. Respected and included. Silhouette of even stronger foundation and a possibility of a few newly formed structures of the open marriage started peaking through.

A calm after the storm. Much work ahead. Great realizations. Hopes and dreams for a future with even more love.

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